Hiring a Planner
Finding the best possible person to help your wedding come together
When couples need to switch gears with their wedding plans, that often means hiring a planner to help pull them off. What follows are questions that nearly every couple should consider when choosing their planner, but especially those brides and grooms who are facing the complex emotional and logistical issues that accompany illness.
Q: How many weddings has she planned in a short period of time?
This is important if you’ve decided to accelerate your wedding date and you won’t have much time to work with. You should hire a planner who has been in this situation before and handled it successfully, says JoAnn Gregoli, a Master Bridal Consultant and co-owner of Elegant Occasions in New York City.
Q: How many events is the planner managing during your wedding weekend?
Your planner should have only one event going on: yours. Given your special circumstances, you won’t want anything else competing for her attention.
Q: Is this person a calming presence?
If the planner is overly excitable—“talking a mile a minute, or coming at you with a lot of scattered thoughts,” explains Gregoli—then you may need to keep looking. “You want this person to be the stabilizing factor among the chaos that’s occurring in your life,” she says. “This is the one who’s going to keep everything on an even keel.”
Q: What do the references say?
Make sure your questions give you a sense of how the person you’re considering handles stress. Ask whether the planner creates drama, or keeps peace. Find out how she dealt with curveballs and crises: Did she stay calm in every situation that arose?
Q: What is the planner’s compassion level?
Are they more business-driven or people-driven? A compassionate planner is one who’s going to tell you everything is going to be okay. “You’re looking for reassurance throughout the planning process,” says Gregoli.
Even with a phenomenal planner by your side, be prepared for your emotions to run high during the buildup to the event, and of course on the day itself. “On a regular wedding day, you already have heightened emotions,” explains Gregoli. “Under these circumstances, it can feel doubly or triply emotional. Look for the joy: You’re getting to marry the person you love.”
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